Good Enough?
Have you ever felt like you are not fit for something that you earned, even though you have fulfilled all the requirements needed? If this has happened to you before, then you know how it feels to have imposter syndrome — something that affects about 70% of the population. According to a Forbes article titled “Imposter Syndrome — Why it’s Harder Today than Ever,” imposter syndrome could be defined as a group of feelings of inadequacy that persist despite evidence of success.
For example, someone battling with imposter syndrome could have fully prepared for their math test, but when it comes time for the actual exam, they will start to question if they prepared enough, took good enough notes or even know how to solve certain problems.
Imposter syndrome can affect anyone — students, recent graduates and adults. If you find yourself creating excuses for why you can’t do something or why you aren’t good enough, then more than likely you are dealing with imposter syndrome.
Missy Farni, a recent Grand View graduate, realized that she was dealing with imposter syndrome when she first entered the job world.
“I think it was really tough for me to figure it out,” Farni said.
Farni said that her boss at her current job asked her, ‘Missy, who are you trying to impress: me or you?’
It was this question that led Farni to believe that she had unknowingly been dealing with imposter syndrome.
While the cause of imposter syndrome is still unknown, many believe that it is due to the pressure of trying to live up to society’s standards.
“Getting right outside of school, you have to kind of prove yourself to people to make sure that you are what they need,” Farni said.
Confidence, or the lack thereof, can be another reason people experience imposter syndrome.
Imagine being hired for a job that on paper you are very qualified for and then feeling like you don’t belong or are not good enough to perform at a high level. She explained that this is how she felt. Farni said that although she left Grand View with the right skills and experiences to get a job, she found herself trying to convince herself that she was good enough for the jobs she was applying for.
“When it came to the interview process, I was consistently trying to fight myself, in order to remind myself that I wasn’t lying in these interviews,” Farni said. “I was good at these things. I just had to put that confidence, that oomph, behind it when I was interviewing to make them believe it, too.”
While the lack of confidence tends to affect women more, men can also face imposter syndrome.
According to a Business Insider article titled “Many men are suffering from ‘imposter syndrome,’” men can struggle with imposter syndrome due to the societal pressures that are put on them and the fear of not living up to male stereotypes. This feeling can also come about due to one’s upbringing. Kent Schornack, director of counseling and leadership at GV, explained how parents and other family members can unknowingly put pressure on children that can follow them for the rest of their lives.
Schornack used sports as an example. He explained how at an early age, instead of praising and encouraging children, parents place pressure and emphasis on winning.
“Sometimes people focus on the results — I’m not good unless I win — and I try to encourage people more to focus on the process,” Schornack said.
Another trigger for imposter syndrome can be social media. According to the Forbes article, people use social media to showcase their best moments and gives the world the impression that their lives are better than they truly are. Our likes, shares and comments equate to validation. Essentially, everyone is in this unknown competition, and when you have nothing to broadcast, it can make you feel not good enough.
Although Farni experienced imposter syndrome in this capacity, there are many other ways imposter syndrome can affect people.
According to Dr. Valerie Young in her book titled “The Secret Thoughts of Successful Woman,” the different types of imposter syndrome are the perfectionist, the superwomen/superman, the natural genius, the soloist and the expert.
It’s time to overcome this feeling. The first step is to get out of your own head. If you allow yourself to feel like you don’t belong or you are not good enough, then you will begin to believe these thoughts.
For Farni, self‑reflection and self-‑evaluation helped her through thoughts like these.
Whether it’s journaling or therapy, being able to get out of your head will help break the negative cycle and boost your confidence.
Farni had to not only find her confidence but also had to rely on her support system to help her through this feeling.
“I really think that having a good support system is your biggest asset,” Farni said. “Although you may not believe them right away, that validation is super helpful.”
Farni went on to explain how hearing kind, truthful words from family and friends can help pull us back in when we spiral.
Schornack also recommends holding yourself to a reasonable standard.
“Most of the time when people feel imposter syndrome — with this pressure they put on themselves — it’s an expectation they put on themselves that they don’t put on other people,” Schornack said.
Schornack said let go of the need to be perfect, and give yourself grace and compassion.
Another way to overcome imposter syndrome is to focus on the process and not the outcome, Schornack said. Ask yourself, ‘Did you give your best?’ with everything you do.
When you can finally come to terms with doing your best, you will then be able to stop comparing yourself to the rest of the world.
To this day, Farni struggles with imposter syndrome. Some days will be better than others. Farni said that everything works itself out or that it is something to learn from.
“Even if something does go wrong, it’s an experience that you needed to have for some reason,” Farni said. “It’ll change something in your path.”
Farni explained that rejection often leads to new opportunities or self-improvement that helps you reach new goals.
“So don’t see these setbacks as setbacks,” Farni said. “See them as lessons that you can kind of add … to your repertoire.”
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