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Self-love: It’s more than a trendy phrase to use as a caption for your social media post. Many millennials use this phrase on a regular basis; however, what does self-love mean? 

“Self-love is just taking time out of your day to really zone in and focus on you and your needs,” said Rileigh Fagan, a senior nursing student at Grand View. 

However, self-love means something different to GV psychology instructor Alysa Mozak. 

“Self-love for me encompasses the ability to take a step back from your social part of yourself and know what you value and what makes you happy. And (it’s) kind of a ‘self-process evaluation’ of what drives you,” Mozak said. 

Although self-love’s definition tends to vary person-to-person, it is not meant to be confused with self-care. 

“Self-love, I think, is the internalization piece of it,” Mozak said. “So, it’s the way that you feel about yourself and it’s embedded in esteem, whereas self-care is the practice. Self-care is what you do to help you with loving yourself.” 

“I think that self-love is a form of self-care,” said Annah Hackett, GV’s campus engagement and instruction librarian. “I think if you do love yourself, you want the best things for yourself, in which case you do care for yourself. I do not think you can truly care for yourself if you don’t have self-love. So, I guess they are an essential part of each other; they are kind of intertwined.”  

While self-care is more about taking action, self-love is more about being conscious of your actions. However, these words work cohesively. Just like you can’t have peanut butter without jelly, you can’t have self-care without self-love. But in order to achieve self-love, one must practice self-care.

Due to the demanding tasks and responsibilities we each face, we can easily forget about taking care of ourselves. We can become stressed, sick or burnt out. 

“We put so much emphasis on everything else we do that sometimes our duties and our responsibilities overshadow us, and we get neglected,” Fagan said. “Those days when there is an extensive period between getting that … quiet time, life is honestly so stressful and chaotic. After a period of time, I feel as if I am suffocating with all my problems … and during that time, it is very hard on the body both physically and mentally.” 

Spencer VanSickel, a senior kinesiology major, said, “My first year in college, I was not very good at taking care of myself because it was like my first time on my own, so I was just lazy all the time and didn’t do well in school.” 

Participating in self-care can help with these problems and more. According to Elizabeth Scott in a verywellmind.com article, there are three different types of self-care: physical, emotional and mental. 

Physical self-care is making sure you are properly taking care of your body. This can vary person-to-person. For some people, it can be about gaining or losing weight; for others, it could be exercising or remembering to eat healthy, balanced meals. 

For VanSickel, going to the gym helps him clear his head and gives him a way to participate in self-care. 

Fagan, on the other hand, has a different self-care routine for when she is at home or at school.

“When I am at home, I typically go on a walk with my dog,” Fagan said. “I’ll leave my phone at home; I’ll leave everything at home. I just grab the leash and go, and I’m gone for two hours or so. When I’m here at Grand View, I like going to meditation when I can at the YMCA.”

Being physically healthy will trigger the relaxation response in your body, “which can prevent chronic stress from damaging your health,” according to an article on verywellmind.com. 

On the other hand, there is emotional health. This focuses on how you are feeling. There are several ways to check this. An example would be to get counseling, confide in loved ones or even keep a journal. For some people, this could be as simple as avoiding doing certain things or being around people who make you feel unhappy or less important. 

“Taking time out to care for yourself can remind you and others that you and your needs are important too,” Scott wrote. 

In a similar manner, there is mental health. This is doing whatever activities you need to in order to relieve stress, gain confidence and combat anxiety, depression and other mental illnesses. 

“I really love cooking,” Hackett said. “So, having an hour or two every day just to cook makes me feel more at peace with myself.” 

For Mozak, it’s the small things that bring joy and relieve stress. 

“I just need to sit at home and self-reflect or binge watch Netflix or have a glass of wine or just take a bubble bath,” Mozak said. 

Once you understand the basis of self-care, you can then start to understand why it is important and better understand your own worth. Also, you create a healthy work-life balance. According to Noma Nazish in a Forbes article on self-care, not having a balance “can make you less productive, disorganized and emotionally depleted. It can also lead to all sorts of health problems, from anxiety and depression to insomnia and heart diseases.” 

Self-care will also help with stress management and a better physical health, as mentioned earlier. Lastly, it will help you start living. Whether it is completing things on your bucket list or just treating yourself to the little things (a good book, long shower, etc.), you will start doing more things for you. 

From understanding and practicing self-care, you will then be able to move onto self-love and the mindset that comes with it.  

Although this process will take time and patience, self-care and self-love are essential to our well-being. In the end it will get easier, and your perspective on life will have shifted. You must be willing to make yourself a priority. 

“You’re never going to get these four years back, so whatever you do, remember this is your time,” Hackett said.  “You are not wasting your time, ever. You have so much value; sometimes it’s harder to see it.” 

Take time to learn more about yourself.

“Find things that make you happy, things that calm you down, things that take your mind off of your everyday life,” VanSickel said. 

Self-love can affect your life more than you realize.

“I think that (self-love) is the most important thing that you can give to yourself,” Mozak said. “If you don’t have a sense of value and love for yourself, it trickles into every aspect of who you are as a person and how you interact with others.” 

Start small by setting an hour out of your day, and just do something you like. Then track yourself to see how many times you are actually following through on this goal. There are several resources that can aid you on your journey to self-love.