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Childhood experiences affect our development, influence our behaviors and help shape our outlook on life as we get older. Dr. Vincent Felitti of Kaiser Permanente and Dr. Robert Anda of the Centers of Disease Control and Prevention conducted an original study on adverse childhood experiences (ACEs) in the 1990s.

Studies showed a strong correlation between traumatic experiences and poor adult health as well as social outcomes later in life. More than 17,000 adult members were surveyed about their childhood exposure to 10 categories of abuse, neglect and household dysfunction. It was found that ACEs are common among the public regardless of race, class, religion and location.

The most common ACEs are substance abuse in the home; emotional, physical and sexual abuses; incarcerated family members; mental illness; domestic violence; and separation of parents.

One of the most shocking results from the study concluded that the life expectancy of a person who has suffered from six or more ACEs is shortened by 20 years and these people are 46 times more likely to become an injection drug user than those who have not suffered from any ACEs.

A more recent study on ACEs was conducted here in Iowa between 2012 and 2014.  To put faces to these statistics, three people were brave enough to share their experiences
with ACEs.

Carmen McDermott

Carmen McDermott is a junior at Grand View University who is pursuing a degree in psychology, and she hopes to help those who have struggled in life as she has.

When asked to relate her experiences to the eight types of ACEs identified in the recent Iowa study, McDermott said she has experienced all eight. She is one of the rare 5.2 percent of those in Iowa who have experienced more than six ACEs.

“It’s one of those things that I don’t think about until it’s in front of me,” McDermott said. “I’m a person who tries to not think about things that have gone on – especially things that are too heavy to work through on a daily basis.”

Before finding ways to cope, McDermott said she was quick to use aggression and would lash out at those around her; she has also suffered from self-harm and has attempted suicide on various occasions.

Currently, McDermott is prescribed daily medications to help her manage her mental illnesses, and she has been attending therapy for the last four years. Recently, she also started using meditation as a way to calm her nerves during stressful times.

“I don’t think of them so much anymore as coping skills but more as healthy-living activities,” McDermott said. “I have to participate in them every day; I can’t only participate when I’m feeling low… I get caught up in things so easily that it gets very hard to deal with things.”

When it comes to relationships, McDermott said it has been a struggle to find strong friendships. She said that during high school, her friends were so distracted with how her issues affected them that they did not show concern for her own well-being.

“It’s definitely not easy,” McDermott said. “I have a tendency to push people away because I have been hurt so many times in the past that it’s easier for me to not have relationships with people or to just have surface-level friendships. It’s safer for me.”

McDermott said her long-time boyfriend has helped her get through her struggles. She said she is also grateful for a high school friend who spoke to a counselor and got McDermott help. Today, McDermott speaks to high school students and people on Grand View’s campus about mental illness and the importance of speaking out for those who are suffering. She is currently the vice president of the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) chapter on campus that provides mental health support.

“Grand View is all about vocation, and I think that the reason I am here is to make it so it’s not a dirty word to talk about mental illnesses and talk about these things that have happened to people,” McDermott said. “This isn’t something that you should be ashamed of. None of this is your fault; you had nothing to do with these things that happened to you, yet they have such an impact on your life.”

Alex Shrewsberry

As a child, Alex Shrewsberry, a Grand View alumnus, and his family moved 22 times before he was even 18 years old. He said it was difficult to trust people and have strong emotional connections because his dad had inconsistent revolving relationships.

During his time at Grand View, he also found it challenging to make a close-knit group of friends because it was difficult for others to relate to his experiences. While Shrewsberry was at Grand View, he created the NAMI chapter on campus. He said the main reason he started this program was because he noticed he had symptoms of depression and anxiety, along with his diagnosis of posttraumatic stress disorder (PTSD) that had resulted from his childhood.

“I wanted it to be an opportunity for people to be able to share their story,” Shrewsberry said. “I was very comfortable with myself and the symptoms I had. Since I was able to speak up about it, I wanted to gather as many people that I could so we could speak up for those who weren’t comfortable sharing their stories.”

Currently, Shrewsberry lives in Los Angeles, where he is a site supervisor for Boys & Girls Clubs of Garden Grove. He is in the transition of becoming a teacher for the Long Beach School District, where he is aiming to make a difference for every kid in his classroom. He hopes to one day be a principal and be a person to whom students can turn to if they are having difficulties.

“As I was growing up through elementary, middle school and high school, I didn’t have any teachers who reached out to make a deeper connection,” Shrewsberry said. “I got my bachelor’s in elementary and special education as a way to make sure that every child in my classroom really knows they have someone to speak to or who is there for them.”

Jen Ulie-Wells

Jen Ulie-Wells is an assistant professor in the education department at Grand View who sees the importance of offering support for students who have had traumatic life experiences or who struggle with mental illnesses.

“In order to be an effective teacher, you have to be able to understand and be compassionate to where most of your students are coming from,” Ulie-Wells said. “Because mental health impacts one out of five young people, the odds are that you are going to have several kids struggling with mental health issues or trauma in your classroom.”

Ulie-Wells said it is important to be aware of how these issues may translate into learning behaviors, as well as internalized and externalized behaviors. She said common signs to look for would be lack of or inability to sleep, irritability, extreme sadness, drug use, excessive drinking, high amounts of promiscuity and personal hygiene problems.

According to Ulie-Wells, Grand View is on the right track in educating people on mental health issues, especially with programs like NAMI, poetry slams and the social work and psychology groups. Counseling services on campus have well-trained peer counselors who are willing to help anyone who is struggling.

“When people hear ‘counseling,’ sometimes people run from that because there’s such a stigma,” Ulie-Wells said. “They think that to go to counseling means they are broken or something is wrong with them. I really wish people could see it as a medical condition and that it’s no big deal. You can get treatment and carry on with a much healthier life.”

Ulie-Wells encourages those struggling with issues to get help and those who notice someone in trouble to step in and say something. People may be nervous about getting help, but they should not be scared or ashamed of doing so.

“It’s not because you want this person to get in trouble,” Ulie-Wells said. “It’s not because you are trying to cause a scene. It’s because you love and care about this person. When we love and care about people, sometimes we have to make hard decisions, even if they are angry with us, to keep them safe. That’s the ultimate, most important thing.”

Taylor Roseboom

My earliest memory of my dad is chasing him down a gravel road as he drove away into his new life without me; I was 3 years old at the time. Experiences like this were not uncommon in my life.

My mother divorced my father when I was 3 due to his alcoholic tendencies, abusive nature and inability to stay faithful.

As I was growing up, I sporadically came into contact with my dad every few years when he made time to see my sister and me. This inconsistent relationship made it difficult for me to depend on and relate to others. As a child, and even to this day, it is hard to understand why a father would not want to be included in his child’s life and experiences.

The effects of my relationship with my father weren’t evident to me until I started dating in high school and early on in college. When I was 19 years old, I started dating my now ex-boyfriend. A few months in, it was apparent that I was in an unhealthy relationship. He was verbally and emotionally abusive toward me and would break me down mentally until I thought I deserved all the things he would say and do to me. Unknown to me at the time, he was hiding drug and alcohol addictions that led to his lashing out at those around him. Unfortunately, I became pregnant only a few short months into the relationship, and I made the decision to have an abortion in August 2013, two weeks before starting my sophomore year at Grand View University.

In September 2013, a life-threatening incident occurred that rattled my world. I was taking my boyfriend and his friends home from a party downtown when he started breaking things in my car. He dented my dashboard with his punches and broke my windshield, causing my rearview mirror to break off into my lap. During his fit of rage, he grabbed the rearview mirror, which had glass still attached to it, and stabbed me in
the right thigh. When I looked down, I could see the inside of my leg, and blood started pouring out. The cut was so deep that I could see arteries.

Even after this, I remained dependent on him emotionally because I had become so brainwashed into thinking that this was normal and that these were just bad incidents. In reality, I was just a small child inside trying to keep someone I loved from leaving me stranded once again. It wasn’t until rumors reached me that he had been cheating on me that I finally realized I deserved more in a partner and for myself. We eventually broke up. When I ended our relationship, I weighed only 84 pounds and was suffering from extreme anxiety.

On October 19, 2013, the eve of his 21st birthday, I surrounded myself with friends to distract myself from his social media posts in which he was surrounded by girls I worked with whom he was sleeping with. I had decided to drink abnormally heavily that night to numb the pain I was in, and I eventually passed out at my friends’ house. When I awoke, my entire world was flipped upside down. In the early hours of October 20, 2013, my brother Michael Schmidt had died in a single-vehicle accident after falling asleep at the wheel. A piece of me died in that moment, but later on I would identify that moment as the turning point in my life.

After my brother’s death, I decided to take a break from school to regain focus in my life. I started working two jobs and lived in an apartment while taking two summer terms at Grand View before returning in the fall of 2015. During that time, I started talking about my experiences with others and sharing my stories to help myself understand and move past the horrors I had experienced.

Opening up to others empowered me and made me strive to live the best life I could to honor my brother and to rise above the tragedies I had suffered.

I never knew that what I went through as a child would trickle into my adult life and have such an impactful mark on who I was with others and who I was to myself.

When it comes to ACEs, I think Carmen, Alex, Jen and I are prime examples of people who have overcome the statistics of falling victim to our childhood experiences. Although we may still suffer from anxiety, dark thoughts, frustrations and low points, we strive to make a difference in order to show others that you can overcome anything that is thrown at you. By spreading awareness about adverse childhood experiences and mental health issues, we can all give a voice to those who have suffered and to those who can’t speak out for themselves.