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Over a quarter of all undergraduate students are going to school while raising children, according to a 2014 study by the Institute for Women’s Policy Research. Out of the population of student-parents, 43 percent are single mothers and 11 percent are single fathers. Student-parents face intense demands on their time and are more likely to go through school with low income. They are also more likely to graduate with higher debt than their non-parent counterparts. Their stories go largely untold.

I can relate to the struggles student-parents face because I am a new single mother. I spoke with two other parents attending Grand View to get their take on what it’s like to raise a child and go to school. What I found was that Emilee Harris, Nick Clayborne and I share a unified motivation: We are each working toward a better future for our children.

Emilee Harris

Harris became pregnant with her daughter, Lennon, during her junior year of high school. She had been an advanced student taking college courses and was the captain of the cheerleading squad when she found out.

“I wasn’t the stereotypical teenage mother,” Harris said. “I was . . . what you would think of as the classic All-American girl.”

She faced bullying from her peers when her pregnancy became public knowledge because she wasn’t the type of girl anyone expected an unintended pregnancy from.

“There was just a constant underlying murmur of ‘Oh my God, she threw her life away’ and ‘She’s just going to become another welfare case,’” Harris said.

Harris, a pre-law and public administration major with minors in Spanish, sociology and political science, has set out to prove them wrong.

When she sat down with her parents to tell them about her pregnancy, they left the decision of whether or not to keep the baby up to her, but giving up on her dreams was not an option. They told her that they would not offer her support raising the baby if she did not continue to pursue her dream of becoming a successful attorney. However, if she did keep the baby, they would do everything in their power to help her get there.

They have allowed Harris to continue to live at home and watch Lennon for a period each day while Harris works on her studies. Although Harris sets time aside to spend with her daughter, sometimes Lennon has a hard time with not being able to spend more time with her mom.

“When we go to bed is when we have time to be really close and really connected because she still sleeps in the room with me,” Harris said. “When she knows we’re alone she’ll talk about it and say, ‘Mommy, you make me really sad because you won’t spend time with me,’ and that hurts my feelings because I’m trying to do the best I can to care for her.”

Knowing that Lennon is hurting and that she can’t understand why mom can’t always play with her is one of the most emotional components of being a student and a parent for Harris. Sometimes she has a hard time knowing she has to miss out on a lot of time with her daughter.

“I do miss out on a lot,” Harris said. “It hurts me knowing that she’s at home, but I realize this is something I have to do to better our future. I think that’s always something that’s in the back of my head. When I’m here, I’m not with her, and that sucks because I know I’m wasting precious time. They’re only 3, 4 and 5 for so long.”

Still, Harris chooses to look at the big picture. She believes Lennon will appreciate her mother’s hard work and dedication as she grows up. Harris never wants her daughter to feel guilty about what was given up on her behalf. Instead of feeling regret, Harris wants Lennon to be empowered by her example to achieve her dreams with a strong work ethic.

According to Harris, her experience as a single parent and a student at Grand View has been positive. She recalled an incident in which she had an in-class exam but had to stay home with her daughter because she had been sick through the night. Harris emailed her professor and offered to do whatever she needed to do to makeup the work for the exam. She had waited for an email demanding a long paper or to tell her she couldn’t make up the work. Instead, the professor let her come in and take the test when she could.

Harris said the graciousness extended by professors makes her a better student because she’s not constantly worried about failing when she has to take care of her daughter’s needs.

“It makes me work harder, and I can work better,” Harris said.

Once she graduates from Grand View, Harris still has at least four years left of school to become a civil rights attorney. She remains determined to complete her studies.

She still occasionally hears chatter, even at Grand View, about her not being able to finish school because she is a single mother.

Although her peers have been saying she threw away her life since she was in high school, Harris remains determined.

“I just know that I’m not what they say I am,” Harris said. “I understand deep down that I’m creating a future for myself. So it never really hurt me because I was like ‘You can think that, but when we come back in 10 years for our high school reunion and I’m an established attorney, you’re going to realize that I was never just another welfare case because I had a child young.”

Nick Clayborne

Nick Clayborne almost didn’t leave his home in California to attend college in Iowa. He considered staying

home and keeping his job at Home Depot rather than being separated from his daughter, Anise, who is now 3 years old.

However, he realized that he needed to do more for her as a father and decided to make the sacrifice of being away from her so they could have a better life.

Clayborne, a double-major in public relations and corporate communication, wants to eventually be a property manager of low-income homes across the United States.

“I grew up in the struggle, and I understand how important low-income housing is,” Clayborne said. “There are a lot of people living check-to-check, so I feel like giving them the chance to flourish their lives and giving them a better chance than what they have.”

For Clayborne, the goal toward building low-income housing goes beyond his personal struggle growing up; he also wants to instill the value of selflessness in his daughter.

“I want to be able to provide her with a better image, for her to see the value of selflessness,” Clayborne said “These are important for her to grow on as she grows older.”

He said he doesn’t feel a time crunch when it comes to getting homework in because Anise is not physically with him. That doesn’t mean he isn’t making enormous sacrifices for her. He FaceTimes her every day and spends as much time as possible with her when he comes home on breaks, but he does miss out on a lot of her “firsts.”

“It makes me sad to miss her first steps and all that stuff,” Clayborne said. “Luckily, I was there for her first words, and that was really special to me. Her first word was ‘Dada.’”

Clayborne said having a child is a blessing that brings a new level of love into his life. Although he was nervous when he first found out he was going to be a dad, he eventually became excited to meet her.

“Everything I do is for her,” Clayborne said. “I go to school for her. My determination on the football field and the intensity I bring is because of her. I want to excel for her.”

Lacie Gwinn

I don’t sleep the same way I used to. My ears can pick up the sound of a head turning from side to side in the middle of the night. When I hear that, I prop myself up on one elbow.

Most of the time I can just go back to sleep, but sometimes I look down and see my infant daughter awake and looking around. I have approximately two minutes to acknowledge her existence before she starts screaming at me. If I catch her on time, however, she’ll be all smiles for most of the morning.

I love her more than anything. If I’m not with her, I’m thinking about her. Everything I do is with her in mind.

It was never my intention to have a child, but I found out on March 10, 2016, that I was pregnant. I sobbed for most of the day. I was terrified. I didn’t know what was going to happen to me, but I decided quickly that quitting school was not an option.

I want her to look back and see that I never gave up. On November 7, I had a baby girl who turned my world upside down in the most stressful and beautiful way.

Coming back to class has been nerve-wracking for me. I am in a constant state of worry. How am I going to keep a roof over our heads? How am I going to keep up with my homework when she cries within minutes of me putting her down? How am I going to deal with being away from her so much? All while swimming in the sleep-deprived, hormone-ridden haze of being a new single mother.

So far, it’s been all about establishing routines and learning more effective time management. I could have put something off in my first few years of school, knowing I’d be up until 3 a.m. doing a marathon to finish the assignment, but at least I was able to sleep until 7 a.m.

Now I can’t guarantee that I won’t be up until 3 a.m. begging my infant to go to sleep or that I won’t wake up every hour. The first week of class, I slept about three hours a night.

I have to use every moment I have for homework, housekeeping and making an income when she is at daycare or visiting her father. It’s rare that I get everything done. But at 5 p.m. every weeknight I pick up my daughter, and she is my No. 1 priority.

I remind myself constantly that housework can wait. My worries about making it through this period of my life can wait. My daughter learns and grows every day, and I refuse to miss it.

Finding the balance between being in the moment with Aubrielle and remembering that I’m building a future for us isn’t easy.

Harris, Clayborne and I have all sacrificed in our own way to get through school and raise our children. Yet we are determined to put our best foot forward each day because everything we do is for our daughters.