Couples’ perspective on dating on campus vs off campus
Dating by itself is work. Dating while earning a college degree, well that’s even more work. What are the differences in having a boyfriend or girlfriend on campus, right down the hall compared to having them at a different college, possibly a different state?
KATIE AND MITCH
On campus couple Mitch Vetter and Katie Keideigh have been dating for almost a year. They met in their Biology class, and they prefer having each other on campus.
They get to see each other all the time, but they also run into some problems with this. Sometimes they see each other too much. Seeing each other too much can risk the chance of them getting in small, pointless arguments.
“If you see each other 24/7, you start to get in arguments over the silliest things,” Vetter said.
The workload of their school schedule can also negatively affect their relationship.
“The stress of school can sometimes get in the way of our relationship. We take it out on each other,” Keideigh said.
On the other hand, they are always right down the hall if they need each other. They like always having the option to just stop by and say “hi.”
The couple agreed that the purpose of college is to get a college degree and learning more about themselves. Having each other for support and comfort is a bonus to the process.
“You have to focus on yourself. You’re here at college for you. You have to prepare yourself for the rest of your life,” says Vetter.
Vetter and Keideigh agree the key to making an on campus relationship work is knowing each other’s boundaries, and figuring out when they need space and when they need you.
STACIE AND MICHAEL:
Stacie Venner and Michael Lux have been an off campus couple for five years.
They met in high school when Venner was a senior and Michael was a sophomore and they’ve been dating ever since.
Venner is a senior nursing student at Grand View while Lux is a junior, computer science major at Iowa State.
Even though Iowa State isn’t far, finding time to see each other isn’t easy. They make it a priority to see each other at least once a week, sometimes more but this hasn’t always been the case. When the couple first started their college careers, they only saw each other once every month or two.
In the beginning of their college careers, seeing each other this little was difficult, but they made it work. They were still kind of learning about their relationship and they knew they needed to really focus on themselves before they could put all their focus on each other.
The couple also has to worry about missing out on campus activities in order to see each other. They use the “give and take” method in order to stay active on campus meaning giving up some time with friends to take some extra time with each other.
The couple compromises so they have an even balance of each other and campus activities and friends. They sometimes give up time they could potentially have together to use it doing other activities with their friends and peers while sometimes even bringing each other along.
“Sometimes it feels like we can miss out on events on campus but then we compromise so we still have time for activities and friends,” Venner said.
Off campus relationships might not work for everyone, but the couple agrees that it works with them. Having each other down the hall from each other would result in less productivity and maybe even worse grades.
“I would not graduate if I went to the same school. I can’t be productive around her,” Lux expressed.
“If he was down the hall, I would probably be less productive. Only seeing him once or twice a week helps me get my homework done and then enjoy the time we have together,” said Venner.
Sidebar:
While dating on campus and off campus has its ups and downs, what’s it like to have an ex-boyfriend or girlfriend living on the same campus? Claire Ludwig, junior kinesiology major, shares her feelings towards having an ex-boyfriend on campus.
“It’s awkward seeing each other on campus. We don’t talk or acknowledge each other ever,” said Ludwig.
Grand View is a small campus and it is almost impossible not to see each other. They even go out of their way to make sure they don’t run into each other because they are trying to avoid any uncomfortable confrontation.
“I make sure I don’t go into the wellness center at certain hours when I know he’s working out,” said Ludwig.
Ludwig explained how some couples might stay in relationships longer because they want to avoid awkward situations around campus.
“I think I stayed in the relationship longer because I didn’t want to deal with the awkward situations we would have seeing each other around campus,” said Ludwig.
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